


Seirin's Scouting Outing

by bob2ff



Series: Seirin Shenanigans [5]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Bad Puns, Gen, Humor, Puns & Word Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 08:26:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1462534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bob2ff/pseuds/bob2ff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kiyoshi decides to scout Rakuzan to test his managing ability. Seirin’s 2nd years tag along.</p><p>Written for BPS' Challenge 66 (Puns).</p><p>I apologize in advance for any cringe-worthy puns. I LOVE puns, and this challenge got me “punped” with excitement (sorry, couldn’t resist). Hope you enjoy it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seirin's Scouting Outing

**Author's Note:**

> Written for BPS' Challenge 66 (Puns).
> 
> I apologize in advance for any cringe-worthy puns. I LOVE puns, and this challenge got me “punped” with excitement (sorry, couldn’t resist). Hope you enjoy it!

“So, I’ve been thinking,” Kiyoshi beamed at Hyuuga and Riko. Hyuuga muttered, “That’s a first.”

Riko elbowed him. “Shut up! You’re one to talk.”

Kiyoshi continued, smiling all the way. “Well, doctors have been looking at my prospects for continuing to play basketball this year. While I’m waiting for their diagnosis, I want to try scouting! Seirin still doesn’t have a manager, right?” he said.

Riko looked thoughtful. “Well, we’ve gotten some applications when we got more popular after winning the last Winter Cup. But we can’t look at them until the next school year starts.”

“But — shouldn’t you be resting instead?” Hyuuga looked doubtful. “You have no experience whatsoever! How useful will that be?”

Kiyoshi smiled reassuringly — that was Hyuuga, tactless as always. “I’m going to test myself by scouting a school over the weekend!”

They both stared at him. “Which school?” Riko asked, starting to look unsure.

“Rakuzan!” Kiyoshi beamed. “It’s the best school to test my abilities since I am familiar with three of their starting regulars from the Uncrowned Kings, and they will be our biggest opponent next tournament anyway.”

Hyuuga looked awed. “You  _have_  thought this through…” Kiyoshi smiled even brighter.

“Don’t need to be so surprised, Hyuuga! I think a lot, you know! For instance, just the other day, I saw a bird flying and thought to myself, the winds have changed direction. In more ways than—” his smiling contemplation was cut off by the door slamming open.

“Kiyoshiiiii don’t leave us!” Koganei wailed, clinging onto him. Kiyoshi smiled and patted him on the head. Mitobe nodded in agreement vigorously beside him.

Izuki followed soon after. “If you are discussing Kiyoshi leaving us for next year, we have to object! He is the  _Key_ oshi to  _unlocking_  our victory next year!” He smiled proudly at himself.

Hyuuga pummeled him. “You guys don’t even know what we’re talking about! Kiyoshi’s going to try managing for us in the meantime.” Riko rolled her eyes at them and said, “Yes — he’s going to Rakuzan this weekend to try scouting for us.”

Izuki perked up. “You mean, like Touou’s manager? Man, Kiyoshi’s  _Touou_ tally going to be a better scout than her!”

Then Koganei let go of Kiyoshi, bounding up excitedly. “Road trip to Kyoto this weekend! I’m game!”

Izuki added, “Hayama’s part of Rakuzan, right? He has a great sense of humour! I’m coming along!”

As Hyuuga began to protest, Izuki looked at him and continued brightly. “Sorry H _yuuga_ , H _youcan’t_ stop us!”

Riko facepalmed. Then she turned to Hyuuga, her eyes sharpening shrewdly. “You know what, the four of you should go. Hyuuga-kun can supervise.” She smiled sweetly at him. Hyuuga stared at her in dread. “Rikoo…” he whined.

***  
“Hey Koganei, want some soda?” Izuki asked happily as they sat on the train. Koganei looked confused. “Er, sure?”

Izuki passed him a can. “Here’s some  _Coke_ ganei,  _Kog_ anei!” He beamed brightly. As everyone groaned, Hyuuga slammed a palm on his head. “ _Please_ , Izuki, we have another hour on this train. Don’t do this all ride long.”

Izuki just beamed. “Good one, Hyuuga! Are you  _two-tired_  of my jokes? Should have ridden a  _bicycle_  instead of the train!” As Hyuuga advanced menacingly on him, he put his hands up reassuringly. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop now.”

Then, as Hyuuga retreated, appeased, he added quietly. “At least, for the next  _hour_  of  _our_  train ride.” He smiled proudly to himself.

In the meantime, Kiyoshi was attempting to play a game with Mitobe. “It’s Word Association! So when I say a word, you need to say another word related to it, but not in the same category! I’ll start first.  _Eggs_.”

Mitobe just smiled silently at him. Kiyoshi frowned. “Do you not understand? You just say a word related to eggs, but not the same category. So for instance, you can say  _frogs_  since it’s related, but not  _chicken_  since they are both types of food!”

Hyuuga slammed a hand on Kiyoshi’s head. “Do you not get that Word Association is  _the worst_ possible game you can play with Mitobe of all people?” he gritted out.

Kiyoshi looked concernedly at Hyuuga. “Are you feeling left out, Hyuuga?” He smiled reassuringly. “It’s okay, you can join in!”

Hyuuga slumped, defeated. Just then, Koganei began chatting excitedly. “Ah, I’m so happy we’re popular now after winning last Winter Cup!”

He turned to Hyuuga, oblivious to his slump. “Hyuuga, are any of the manager prospects cute girls? I think we’ve got a  _great_  chance to get girlfriends next year, don’t you?”

Hyuuga just looked at all of them. Then he turned to him. “You know, somehow I don’t think  _getting_  girlfriends will be the problem — it’ll be  _keeping_  them interested that’ll be the challenge.”

***  
“Ah, I see  _Ha_ yama!  _Hi_ yama!” Izuki called, waving cheerfully. Hayama turned. He brightened. “Oh, it’s Seirin’s point guard! Hi Izuki!”

Then he started cracking up as he realized the pun. “Man, you’re  _good_  at this stuff!” Izuki beamed proudly.

Hayama approached them. “Are you guys here to visit us? We’re having weekend practice now — can’t really entertain you guys.” Kiyoshi beamed at him. “Yes, we would like to check out your facilities, please!”

Hayama looked suspicious. “Why? You’re not  _scouting_ , are you? You guys aren’t even managers.” Hyuuga started panicking. “No!” he yelled wildly. “We’re just— uh, Seirin’s thinking about renovating!”

Koganei added eagerly. “Yes, and Rakuzan’s facilities are the model for it! We’re here to check it out.”

Izuki jumped in brightly. “Yup, honestly, the way we treat our facilities, we’re like wild animals! Sometimes I think I’m more I _zookeeper_  than I _zuki_!” Hyuuga resisted whacking him.

Hayama cracked up again, successfully distracted. “Man, I gotta visit you guys too sometime. You’re just too good at this! Come with me!”

Hyuuga sighed as they followed him. He thought that maybe Seirin’s team had bonded a little  _too much_  with Rakuzan’s after beating them at the Winter Cup. Hayama had  _got_  to stop encouraging Izuki.

***  
“I’m sorry, but you’ve wasted your time coming all the way here. There is no information you will gain from scouting us,” Akashi told them flatly.

All of them stared frantically at one another. Damn, they hadn’t even  _said_  anything yet and Akashi had deduced their motives.

They all jumped as Kiyoshi suddenly started laughing loudly. “What are you talking about, Akashi-kun!” he said. “We’re just here to check out your facilities, and to visit you! I haven’t seen my Uncrowned King colleagues in a while, after all.” Mitobe and Koganei nodded their heads frantically in agreement.

Akashi looked at them, eyes narrowed calculatingly. There was no doubt in their minds that he did not believe a word Kiyoshi said. But then, he sighed and said, “Allow me to give you a tour, then.”

***  
“Kiyoshi! We’re still on for that arm-wrestling match?” Nebuya boomed, clapping Kiyoshi on the back, hard. Kiyoshi smiled back. “Maybe later, Nebuya!”

He looked around at all of them. “You all shouldn’t stop your practice on account of us! We’ll just hang around the back, you won’t even notice we’re here!” Hyuuga resisted the urge to facepalm. How much more  _obvious_  could he get?

Akashi’s lips curved upwards. “But you are our guests — it is only proper that we entertain you.”

Izuki perked up. “Oh, good one, Akashi! You guys prefer enter _taining_  to enter _training_  I suppose?”

Akashi just blinked as Hayama rolled around the floor of the gym floor laughing.

Meanwhile, Mibuchi was smiling prettily at Mitobe and trying unsuccessfully to engage him in conversation. Koganei was prattling on to Kiyoshi and Nebuya about the amazing ramen he had in Kyoto that he  _absolutely had_  to have again.

Hyuuga just hung his head. This was a total disaster of epic proportions. They weren’t  _scouting_  so much as they were  _outing_  what weirdos they were. And now even he was punning — if that wasn’t a sign that it was time to go, Hyuuga didn’t know what was.

***  
“Aw, Hyuuga, but we were just about to go for ramen together!” Koganei whined.

Akashi addressed him solemnly, “You should realize that ramen is not a very balanced meal for an athlete. If you want to keep in shape, you should have at least four main groups in a meal. Ramen has too much fat.”

Koganei just nodded his head mutely. He was still somewhat intimidated by Akashi since their last tournament. Hyuuga watched enviously, wishing  _he_  had the ability to shut Koganei up like that.

Nebuya was busy promising Kiyoshi different challenges for the next time they met, as Kiyoshi smiled indulgently. Hayama and Izuki were poring over Izuki’s pun book, Hayama giggling occasionally.

Mibuchi winked at Hyuuga, having abandoned his pointless conversation with Mitobe a while ago. “We should set up a practice match sometime, captain,” he said, batting his eyelashes. Hyuuga stiffened and shifted awkwardly. “Er, sure…”

Akashi cut in and extended a hand to Hyuuga, staring straight at him. “A piece of advice from one captain to another. Scouting works better when you’re watching us in action, not just in practice. Perhaps we  _should_  organize a practice match sometime.”

Hyuuga stared at him. Then he took his hand. “Understood. Next time you come to Tokyo, then.”

Akashi just nodded. His lips were curved upwards in anticipation.

***  
Koganei waved a sheet of paper in their faces as they sat in the train. “I can’t believe Akashi keeps a  _diet plan_  stashed in his pocket!” His phone beeped. He wailed as he checked it. “How did he get my number to text me  _more_  nutrition tips!”

Hyuuga just shrugged. “It’s Akashi.” Kiyoshi slumped next to him. “That was not a good scouting trip at all. We did not get any useful information on Rakuzan.”

Izuki patted him on the back. “There, there, Kiyoshi…it wasn’t a  _fruitless_  effort. We got some sweet Kyoto  _strawberries_  out of it!” he said, brandishing the paper bag.

Hyuuga bonked Izuki on the head. He reassured Kiyoshi. “I don’t think any scout can get anything pass Akashi anyway. We can try again next week.”

Kiyoshi brightened. “You mean, you will come with me again next week?”

Hyuuga shut him down. “No — you should go alone. Without  _any_  distractions,” he said, glaring at all of them.

Koganei shoved him playfully. “Aw, come on Hyuuga, this was fun!” Mitobe agreed, smiling.

Izuki brightened. “Yes, for everyone’s  _say_ ke, I would  _say_  that I  _say_ vored my trip with  _Say_ rin!”

This time, they all said unanimously, “Shut up, Izuki.”


End file.
